The Half Time Experience

Football half time was only meant for one thing.

No…not beer…that’s what the first two quarters are for.  No…not nachos…ditto on the timing of beer.

Half time is the point of the football game when the goddess tries to distract you and get you not to watch the rest of the game.

Now, this depends on a wide number of factors…who’s playing…the score…whether or not she likes football…how much beer the dude has had…her fellatio skills…

Although, were I a complete ass, I would say that fellatio should not distract a true football guy’s attention from the game.  Of course, it all depends on his torso size and the couple’s positioning as to whether or not he can see past her bobbing head…but this hardly seems fair to be an expectation on the goddess.

I’ll admit, once in awhile there is nothing wrong with it…so long as the dude, on occasion performs some cunillingus whilst she enjoys her choice of chick flick, sport…or her preferred football combatants.

Regardless, there is another problem with fellatio during football.  I like to talk during the game and it is a bit disconcerting to explain the intricacies of the right guard pulling to knock the knees off the middle linebacker only to be answered by a gagging sound.

…this being said, I’m not a fan of a goddess gagging regardless, so maybe that’s a bad example…

Point being, she cannot answer and fake interest easily with her mouth full.  Were she sitting with knitting needles, perhaps…whilst she knits a scarf I can slosh beer and explain what a turkey that guy was that just fumbled.

Now, assuming fellatio is not enough for her…well, I suppose intercourse is an option…but dammit, be quick about it!  I wouldn’t want to miss a play.  Nothing as distracting as a goddess straddling whilst trying to yell at the receiver that just dropped the long bomb in the end zone.

Just think how she would like it if it was a show she wanted to watch.

Is it any wonder why I only choose to be with a woman that likes football now?

And, perhaps more importantly, anyone taking anything I’ve written here as serious needs to have their head examined…even I don’t like football that much O_o

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