I hate cliches.
I would say that this week I finally grabbed the bull by the horns a bit, but that is just *yawn*.
Let us talk of my dating history, shall we? I know…I know…you are all rolling your eyes and thinking “here the bastard goes again”. I’ll add in a little bit of sexual juice just to keep it interesting, alright? Good enough?
First girlfriend I had was in 1988…she was 16, I was 18. Lasted almost three years and a good introduction to my libido that included blowjobs in cars and sex on the beach…literally, we were on the rocky lake shore in southern Etobicoke (western suburb of Toronto) and had some guy flash his lights at us to stop. She is also the only one that I am aware of that cheated on me…something of a rude awakening.
Second girlfriend was in 1992. She was the first one who was, allegedly, “my type”. Apparently I have a type…short, brunette and cuddly. Not sure where this type came from, but I am currently working on not falling for a woman just because she is that type again. Anyhow, this woman was two years older and significantly less experienced than I already was. Quickly matured me to a much more gentle lover. I did try my hand for the first time at light dom and teaching.
Next girlfriend became ex wife #1. Looking back on the ten years we were together, this was the most sexually vanilla relationship I have had. The fact that my two daughters came from this match, however, does put a bit of rose coloured glasses on the history of it. Kinkiest thing we did was…um…well, we didn’t. This woman, again, was that type I spoke of earlier.
After ten years of marriage, and another year of repair, the next girlfriend was interesting. A playful exhibitionist. One who I finally got to explore some of my most erotic fantasies with…no back alley was safe…no front porch. Even experienced threesomes for the first time. Again, I tested dom waters here and, though I am too gentle to truly be a dom, I enjoyed it. Being how ugly her kisses tasted, after this break up I vowed to never date a smoker again.
Ex-wife #2 was next. She proved to me that good, exciting sex can make a guy over look a lot of ugliness. Had my first cinema blowjob while we were dating. Sexually, I finally admitted to being a gentleman dom…liking to control gently. After our break up she even offered me a threesome to try and get me back…nice idea as it was, it showed that she had missed the entire point of me no longer being there.
Finally, the most recent girlfriend. Again, she is that “type”. A horse person who liked having sex in front of a barn, or with others in the same room…not others watching, mind you. A pierced tongue and more tattoos than I have. Due to the horse riding, she had powerful legs when wrapped around a guy. Happy to say that she and I are still friends now. Being, with me, she finally found a “nice guy”…now I hope she finds a “nice horse guy”.
I have gone out with a few in the last few months that were that “type” again..irony, is one I really liked at first was, looking back, a clone of my first ex wife. I have also been out with a few who do not fit that “type”…one who, I am happy to say I think will be a friend going forward, and another…again who I really thought I liked…who was a near clone of ex-wife #2.
So…this past week I approached someone who is not that “type”…and not at all the type I would normally even talk to. I am still uncertain why I did. She is one who, for a variety of reasons, I would have thought is out of my league…
The fact that she responded, shocked the hell out of me.
Perhaps I do not actually know my league as well as I thought I did. One of these quick lessons on how preconceived ideas limit us.
As is my norm, I will meet her assuming nothing and with no expectations…except one. Assumptions, expectations and fantasies tend to lead to disappointment when first meeting someone in real life after beginning online. In this case, however, my one expectation is that I want her as a friend whether or not there is anything romantic. We have chatted back and forth over mobiles the last few days and something tells me, romantic or not, she and I could be good for each other. Perhaps I have found the editor I need…and if I am lucky, she would see something similar in me that she needs.
Not to suggest that, in the past, I have gone in saying “romance or nothing” with other women. When you meet and there is no connection, however…tends to be a quick turn off. On a first meeting, it is unusual to really know much, if anything about someone. This time I feel I know more than I usually do.
The next question is, when I first look into her gorgeous non-pixelated eyes, is she potentially more than just the editor. More than just the friend I already want her to be. Could she be the partner in crime or the muse I seek?
I think Arthur Dent stated it best…
“Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I’ve ever wanted an answer to – is she the one? The answer bloody well isn’t forty-two, it’s yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy.” – Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Unlike Arthur, I do not know these answers yet, but they will all come in good time. Well, that is not entirely true…I do already know the answer…42 is the answer. Now I just have to figure out the correct phrasing of the fucking question.