Wet Dreams of a Writer

A erotic writer’s dream…at least a male erotic writer’s dream…would be to have a goddess down on him while he writes.

No, that is not going on while I write this. However, any willing volunteers reading this, please identify yourself and we will talk.

One might argue that Hank Moody, addictions and fucked up-pedness aside, is whom we would all like to be. In all reality, should it not be accepted that sex…good hard kinky sex is the perfect cure for writer’s block?

Speaking of Hank Moody, I am finally sitting down to watch season two of Californication. A show that, much as I enjoyed it, I watched the first season with ex-wife #2 and it turned me off a bit. Suffice, four years later…

If I could be this guy without the drugs and cigarettes…the booze I’m fine with, just in a more limited quantity. Like him in this particular episode, I will likely be visiting the “big nipper” before much longer.

That being said, and going off a four year old memory of season one, I’ve had more threesomes recently than Hank has.

…no, no details, as that is unimportant to this point. Besides, I do not kiss and tell specifics. Vagues, abso-fucking-lutely…and now comes the invite I have received to a “play party”. Fascinating, but scary, as this is one experience I have not yet enjoyed.

Very intriguing idea to attend such…but not certain I would do much more than play voyeur.

Then again, I recall saying something at my first threesome…a university buddy and his friend, who was a girl (was not his girlfriend though…but I dated her later) started making out in front of me. They were completely drunk…and I was sober…and I had some definite “performance anxiety” issues…and with them both beyond tipsy, they both thought it was hilarious at the time and, luckily, neither remembered after.

The next time we did that, however, when she and I were dating…well, not sure there is much hotter than watching one’s lover being screwed by another guy…or girl, for that matter. My inner voyeur loves that.

My more recent threesome, I was “another guy”, and that was fantastic as well.

As such, the idea of a play party has both my inner voyeur and exhibitionist frothing at the mouth. No idea if the party will actually happen, but it certainly is exciting to think about.

The thought of all those people bumping and humping…of course, really no idea how many people, but…

Another thought that tickles is bringing a full box of condoms as a host gift. You just cannot do this at most parties without raising a few eyebrows or, perhaps more likely, getting thrown out. If anyone wants to test this theory, I would appreciate a report.

Another question…what wine selection goes with condoms? Or does getting flavoured condoms make this moot?

More questions…

Do bare-ass chaps chaff? If so, how does one deal with this?

What is the proper maintenance practice for a rope flogger?

What is the proper knot when using marine rope for a harness? Again, wine selection with this?

How many bruises are too many?

Is smashing a fish bowl and yelling “Opa!” after an orgasm appropriate?

If one of the participants is a volunteer fireman, where should he hide his radio?

Are Wee Willy Winky jokes inappropriate?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I need these questions answered, so anyone who knows…please share.

4 Comments

  1. Everyone knows a woodchuck would chuck as much as he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

    The other questions may be more complex. First thought is that someone should write a book…second thought is that of course you can’t write a book because that would introduce rules where they don’t belong.

    My thought, having read your work for a while, is that if you come as you are, you will please someone. Another thought is that if you just act like you know what you’re doing, walk into the room like you own the place…people will just follow your lead. Attitude can bluff through most inconveniently ambiguous social situations.

    This not kissing and telling rule is a problem. I was commanded by my dom to write about the experience. He liked my writing and wanted to be featured in my blog which works for me anyway.

    As for sex stimulating erotic writing…I have been off my blog for months because I was getting spankings and sex. The blog is my fantasy life when I don’t have anyone to provide something real. I only wrote when commanded to and just detailed the experience rather than working off my imagination…which is more active when I’m frustrated.

    I can’t wait to hear more about the party…I hope you have a blast and then come tell us about it!

    DE

    • I find what you say on “acting like you know what you’re doing” works in everything. Funny how a little confidence, whether real or fabricated, demands respect.

      As for the woodchuck thought…I was unaware that EVERYONE knew. Thank you for telling me.

  2. I think white zinfandel goes with everything, yes? 😉

    I don’t have a radio, but I do have a clinic phone. I keep it with me, but I’ve let it go to voicemail when we are in session…

    As to the rest… I have no answers for you other than the one about the woodchuck, which DE so kindly took on. Does “42” cover it??

    ~Kazi xxx

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