It is unique getting used to sleeping with someone regularly again.
A challenge…as those that like to use cliche catch phrases would say…for the record, I suspect 75% of those working at my office are guilty of that. Those folk, however, sell wood and do not write about it as I do.
Barney Stinson would be proud…and don’t get me started on the humor of a gay Broadway actor playing a womanizer…think I have previously mentioned that.
Sorry, I digress…sleeping with her! Yes.
The way to get back in the swing of sleeping with someone is, of course, the orgasms.
When she snuggles in close as you are falling asleep…it means she wants an orgasm.
If watching TV in bed and the horror show makes her bury her head in your shoulder with a scream…this is code for her wanting an orgasm.
If she glares at you for passing gas at an inopportune moment…as though there is an opportune moment…it means she wants an orgasm.
Orgasms are the answer to so many questions such as:
“Why can I not sleep?”
“Should i have made a left at Albuquerque?”
“How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?”
“How many jelly beans are too many?”
In fact, in a recent study by a local sex shop, orgasms were found to be the second best answer to the ultimate question…a distant second to, of course, 42. Shockingly, third was “chocolate” and fourth was “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic”.
Now…where was I? Oh yes…
The signs of her wanting an orgasm are simple really. The most obvious clues are that her eyes are open or closed. Another big clue is that she is breathing.
This morning, for example, she was softly snoring…this was my clue. Rolling over and spooning her, I got my right hand to her breast and my left found her clitoris first before slipping just inside. Soon her hips were thrusting, breath was gasping, and the grin on her lips said that my assumption was correct. Her orgasm was gentle…this time.
…with four children in the house this weekend, rip-rocking orgasms are not truly an option. Perhaps we need to teach or children the importance of ear plugs for sleeping. Might interfere with things such as hearing smoke alarms, but what is more important?
Yes, that was sarcasm. No doubt someone thinks I’m serious. Perhaps we use headphones that amplify the smoke alarms…then test it so I have time to give her an orgasm while the children wait in the parking lot for the fire department, all the while assuming that dad was simply making toast again.
Long story short (too late) she had a soft and gentle orgasm…before swallowing cum.
Is there a better way to wake on a Saturday?
On this note, I bid you all good day as she has gotten up and is starting to get dressed…this can only mean she wants one thing, of course, and it isn’t coffee…that’s later.