All For Laughs

Author’s Note:  This is the third episode of two series, Vampyre and Barmaids.

Photo by creepyhalloweenimages“Why can’t I be over there making them laugh?” Carlo asked and sipped his ale.  “I’m funny.”

“Yeah, you really are,” Steve agreed.

“Not funny weird, funny ha ha.” Carlo tugged at his beard lightly.  “I’m just as normal as the next bloke.”

A glance down.  “Your fly is down for one thing.”  Steve sipped his own ale.

Carlo nearly spilled his in an attempt to put it down and zip up.

The brunette that he had been watching stood up with the man who had picked her up at the bar and took his arm.

“See, Steve, she’s going to sleep with that idiot now.”

“How do you know he’s an idiot.”

“The tattoo that says ‘mom’ on his left bicep, for one.”

“Ah yes, definitive proof.”  Steve rolled his brown eyes.

“I thought the funny guys were supposed to get the girls, not the dumb jocks.”

“All depends on her reason for wanting a guy. In their case, I suspect she wants to get laid hard.”

“She doesn’t have to work that hard to get…”

“Dude, that’s not what I mean. I suspect his hips pack more of a wallop than yours do.”

“Oh, point,” Carlo said and took another drink.

“Game, set and match.”

“You guys need a refill?” The barmaid had her dirty blonde hair hung in a ponytail that trailed just between her shoulder blades. The pub uniform t-shirt showed off just a touch of cleavage with the tartan kilt offering more leg flesh above the knee socks.

“Tracy?” Being he was a regular, Carlo felt he could ask the question of her.

“Yes, Carlo.” Her blue eyes rolled as she expected a stupid question.

“Laughs or muscles? Which would you rather in a partner?”

Her eyes shot to Steve hoping for help, but none was found there. A slump of her shoulders followed. “Well, that depends.”

“Depends on what?” Steve asked, looking just as eager as Carlo for her answer.

“If it is a long-term relationship, probably the laughs as the muscles may not last.”

Both men nodded, feeling that was a fair answer.

“If I am just fucking the guy…”

Just her choice of phrasing caused both men’s eyes to widen. This was not the vanilla answer either had been anticipating.

“…you know, a one-night stand kind of thing. Then I want muscles. I want to feel his strength between my legs. Besides, if he is licking me…oh, and he needs a good tongue…he won’t be cracking jokes anyway and would be nice to have a view of those shoulders while he does that. Then I do like to be thrown around the bed a bit, so something to be said for powerful arms. The cock, though…that is where the real strength needs to be. I want to feel that thing for the next twenty-four hours after I’ve fucked and devoured it. And believe me, I do like sucking it.”

Carlo’s mouth hung open as his mind tried to come up with a response.

Steve grinned like a little boy caught doing something he should not have.

“I’m sleeping with you two tonight, by the way.”

Carlo’s face went from white to beet-red.

Steve grabbed the table to keep from falling out of his chair.

“I’m not kidding.”

Again, both just stared at her.

“I’m off in twenty minutes, so be ready.” She turned around and went back to the bar.

“She’s kidding, right?” Carlo whispered his question.

“I don’t know. She’s never…?”

“No, she’s never.”

“Never,” Steve repeated and pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. His eyes glanced over to see her grinning at him. “I’d like to sleep with her.”

Twenty minutes passed and Tracy returned. She had not been kidding. “Ready?” Pulling each of the men up, she linked her left arm in Steve’s and her right in Carlo’s so she could lead them on the walk back to her apartment. “Been awhile since I’ve had two cocks in my mouth at the same time,” she said very plainly. “You two okay with that?”

Both nodded as Steve pulled the door open and the threesome-to-be stepped out into the snowy street.

Bjorn was waiting for them inside the apartment. He had been casing Tracy for a week, so knew that tonight she would bring home a lover. Picking the lock on the door had been too easy, so he was concerned something might yet go wrong. Seeing that she had two, however, he knew he was in for an unexpected feast. He remained hidden among the clothes inside her open closet, watching and waiting. It seemed tonight he was among the fortuitous.

First he watched as Tracy took both of the men’s cocks into her mouth, at once. There was some awkwardness among the two men as they felt the heads rub together inside her mouth, but they persevered. Then he watched as she mounted one in a cowgirl position and then directed the other into her ass so she could feel both.

With the sense of energy, Bjorn’s mouth began to water and her moved upon the threesome. In no time, his fangs were into all three necks, ending the tryst as he feasted.

“…and you didn’t share?” Fastny asked mockingly with a playful smack across his shoulder.

He shrugged. “I thought I was alone in this world. Who would I share with?” He offered Fastny the wrist of the brunette they were currently sharing.

“You’re such a fucking goofball,” Fastny said and bit down to gorge herself upon their prey.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.