The Evolving Atheist: Finding Dawkins

The Pagan boy stood in the greenhouse awaiting his bride. The justice of the peace was behind him. His brother was beside him. His daughters each wore white dresses with blue lace and carried small bouquets of blue flowers. Some family and friends were seated in the rows of wooden chairs.

It was a sunny Friday afternoon and this was his second trip down the aisle. His new bride had been met online. She was a teacher and seemed very shy.

The relationship itself was a knee jerk as the Pagan boy had gone hunting thinking he needed to be with someone. He did not think he should be on his own and jumped at the first woman who showed interest. He had nothing in common with her…in fact she even frowned on a couple of things he had passion for, such as loud music in the car.

Some pretty basic things were ignored in the Pagan boy’s need to be with someone.

One day the couple was out with his daughters. They had taken the girls up to see a halloween display at a small town north of Toronto. They were on their way back, and he decided to treat his girls with a stop at McDonalds and get a drink. While his wife was in the washroom he took it a step further and bought chicken nuggets to snack on. Her reaction was embarrassing as she yelled at him over the treat he had bought them without asking her first.

Due to his new sales job causing him to travel significantly, this marriage lasted a lot longer than it should have. One Google search later would show that her students could have told him how bad she was with children.

As it was, in the Fall of 2008 his work contract ended and he would spend the next eight months unemployed. However, within two months of being home full time, he left her.

His daughters were with him every second weekend and there were stories of their mother dealing with tears as they no longer wanted to come because of her. He could no longer deal with that. He had already dealt with one wife trying to separate him from his parents, he would not deal with one trying to separate him from his daughters.

The biggest problem was that she would not accept that his daughters were the reason he had left her. There were other things he could have dealt with, however not the girls. In the end, however, he finally had to make other reasons…he joined an adult website and she found his account there. She then believed he had cheated on him and had no interest in continuing.

For the next few months he hunted for work. Spent too much time on Facebook and started making relationships online.

He finally began a new job with a boss who had hired him previously. Not a perfect situation, but with employment insurance near running out, he took the position.

Since this time he did have an introduction to two things that would change how he viewed things. First, he discovered horses and started working with and riding them. Second, was the writings of one Richard Dawkins.

The horses have taught the Pagan more about himself and his instincts than he could have imagined.

Dawkins, however, was the final straw. The Pagan read through Dawkins’ The God Delusion and realized his mistake. He was no Pagan. He was an atheist. Just because he still felt there was more to this existence did not require any labeling of his beliefs anymore.

In the spring of 2011…
He does not believe in God, nor gods. In fact, he thinks the Christian and Muslim theories of gods make their creator out to be down right creepy.
He does not believe we are alone in the universe and also believes that it is the height of human arrogance to think that any other intelligent life in the universe even cares that humanity is here.
He does believe that we, as a society, have lost technology. As Douglas Adams once joked, perhaps humanity did not originate on Earth. In fact, he sees this theory as explaining both the gaps in evolutionary theory as well as the story of Adam and Eve.
He believes one day he will sell a significant story as well. It will not likely ever be a career. He never questions his ability where writing is concerned…just his patience to do anything worthwhile.
He also believes that his daughters are his greatest creation…even if he sells a book at some point, this will never change.
Finally, he believes he is responsible for his own issues. No one else can be blamed for his errors. For his successes, however, he has many to thank.

Perhaps…hopefully, based on this last point, he is an atheist man and no longer a boy.

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